Fr. T J. Puliyan, MSFS
( Part-3 Continued from last week)
- Impulsiveness: An impulsive person may make rash decisions based on emotion. For example, an impulsive friend may spend too much money because they lack emotional regulation skills.
- Laziness: Lazy people may struggle to finish tasks because they lack inspiration, motivation, and drive. For example, employees may avoid completing their tasks because they don’t want to.
- Apathetic: A person with apathy may struggle to care about things, goals, or people. For example, an apathetic manager may struggle to work on their relationship with you because they aren’t invested.
- A lack of self-awareness: A person who lacks self-awareness may struggle to reflect on their thoughts, actions, and words. For example, a toxic friend who isn’t self-aware may not understand why they haven’t reached a goal despite sabotaging their efforts.
- Absolutism: A person with absolutism may view situations, people, or the world through a binary like “good or bad.” For example, an absolutist friend may see another friend as bad because they upset them, despite the friend apologizing.
- Manipulation: Manipulation involves using tactics to control or influence others to serve one’s interests. Manipulative individuals often employ tactics such as deception, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing mind games. They exploit the vulnerabilities and emotions of others to maintain control over them. This toxic trait erodes trust, creates power imbalances, and undermines the autonomy and well-being of the other person in the relationship.
- Selfishness: Selfishness refers to the excessive focus on one’s own needs, desires, and interests while disregarding or neglecting the needs of others. Selfish individuals prioritize their well-being without considering the impact of their actions on others. This can lead to a lack of empathy, unwillingness to compromise, and an overall imbalance in the relationship. It hinders the development of a mutually beneficial and supportive partnership.
- Perfectionism: Perfectionism is an obsession with flawlessness and setting unrealistic standards for oneself and others. Perfectionists often struggle with self-criticism and have an intense fear of failure. They impose these unrealistic expectations on themselves and those around them, leading to constant dissatisfaction, criticism, and a hostile atmosphere. The pressure to meet impossible standards can strain relationships, making it difficult to feel accepted or valued for who you are.
- Hostility involves displaying consistent anger, aggression, or resentment towards others. Hostile individuals tend to be easily angered, quick to argue or insult others, and have difficulty managing their emotions. This toxic trait creates a tense and hostile environment that undermines open communication, emotional safety, and overall relationship satisfaction. It can lead to a cycle of conflict, hurtful behavior, and damaged trust.
- Aggression refers to a tendency to use force, intimidation, or hostility to assert dominance or control over others. Aggressive behavior can manifest physically, verbally, or emotionally. It involves lashing out, threatening, or causing harm to others. Aggression creates fear, harm, and a sense of danger within a relationship. It damages trust, safety, and emotional well-being, making fostering a healthy and nurturing connection nearly impossible.
Fr. T J. Puliyan, MSFS
